In a daring new move to reimagine disaster preparedness, the Surfside HOA has unveiled its vision for a potential office building-slash-disaster on the hill shelter. Of course, the HOA president assured the board  that they members never vote for or  be asked to foot the bill—no, that privilege would go to Washington State’s hardworking taxpayers. Because if there’s one thing the government loves, it’s spending millions on projects like this instead of, say, fixing potholes, police or funding schools.

But here’s the real question: why stop at a boring three-story office building at a cost of four plus million? If we’re dreaming big (and on someone else’s dime), why not think outside the box? Introducing the Surfside Disaster Party Yacht: a sleek, 100-foot, dual-purpose tsunami shelter and floating party venue at a cost of 5 million. It’s the disaster prep solution nobody knew they needed but everyone would secretly want.

Comparing the options:

Cost to Taxpayers:

Three-Story Office Building: Astronomical

100-Foot Yacht: Slightly more  astronomical

Disaster Preparedness:

Three-Story Office Building: Stationary, limited use

100-Foot Yacht: Mobile, ready to ride waves

Community Appeal:

Three-Story Office Building: Dull

100-Foot Yacht: Off-the-charts excitement

July 4th Potential:

Three-Story Office Building: Meh

100-Foot Yacht: Best party in the Pacific

Prestige for HOA:

Three-Story Office Building: Bureaucratic

100-Foot Yacht: Captain and crew vibes

Communication

Three-Story Office Building: Vintage Ham Radio

100-Foot Yacht: Starlink state of the art satellite internet

Practicality Meets Luxury

Sure, a three-story concrete bunker might survive a tsunami, but where’s the pizzazz? A 100-foot yacht, on the other hand, could ride those tsunami waves like a pro—while hosting a fully stocked bar, crab buffet and live DJ. When the big one hits, imagine the HOA board clinking champagne glasses in the captain’s lounge, shouting, “To safety!”

The Ultimate Dual-Use Facility

By day, the yacht could serve as a mobile HOA office, gliding majestically up and down the coast.

By night, it transforms into the hottest party spot on the peninsula. Picture Fourth of July 4th fireworks viewed from the deck, with members sipping cocktails as the landlocked peasants scramble on the dunes  with lawn chairs.

Community Spirit at Sea

Nothing says “we’re in this together” like squeezing 1000 Surfside residents onto a luxury yacht during a tsunami warning. And let’s be honest: we could then travel the world.  Plus, the president would finally earn a new title: Captain (with the board as shipmates.  People who oppose the board could be Pirates.

Captain’s Log: A New Era for Surfside Leadership

Naturally, the transition to a yacht-based HQ would come with new traditions. HOA meetings would commence with a ceremonial blowing of the ship’s horn, followed by roll call as the crew salutes the captain. Minutes would be logged in nautical terms, and Robert’s Rules of Order would be replaced with the Pirate’s Code (which, as we all know, are really more like guidelines). Members violating tree height covenants would have to walk the plank. Pirates of the Caribbean replaced by the Pirates of Peninsula .

The best part? The yacht would bring Surfside together like never before. Whether you’re a long-time resident or a newbie, everyone can agree that the sight of the HOA president at the helm, steering us into uncharted waters, would be nothing short of inspiring—or at least hilarious. And the view on the ocean is unimpeded by trees!!

Conclusion: A Wave of Opportunity

As Surfside contemplates its future, let’s not settle for the mundane. Sure, a three-story office building might be practical, but practicality is overrated. A party yacht-slash-tsunami shelter would not only protect us from disaster but also unite us in the shared joy of maritime revelry. And if the state’s taxpayers are picking up the tab? Well, anchors aweigh!