In Surfside, WA, the true strength of the community lives in its mothers and grandmothers. These women—caregivers, teachers, nurses, leaders—are the soul of our neighborhoods. Since living in Surfside, I have learned valuable lessons from their lifetime of wisdom. They raise generations, nurture dreams, and hold together what so often gets overlooked in the rush of daily life: love, wisdom, and compassion.

I come from a legacy of strong women. My mother, born in Manchuria, survived the traumas of war, separation, and exile. Forced to flee and leave her family to escape unspeakable attrocities during WWII when the Japanese invaded, she carried on after losing her family to persecution. My grandfather and uncle were shot, and the her family relocated to Russia where she lost touch with them. She never saw her mother and the rest of the family again. We were a military family.  My dad, who spent a lifetime in service to his country, and the sacrifices of all who serve in the military. I witnessed her tears at night reading letters from my dad serving in Vietnam. Constantly worrying about his safety  until his return. 

She raised me to believe in dignity, compassion, and respect for older people, especially grandmothers and mothers. All the members of my family were women. Outside of my father, I was surrounded by strong women. I did not have a grandmother to convey wisdom and love. But my mother taught me women deserve to be treated with respect. The rest of this article are short stories of grandmother’s whose stories I’ve encountered about the  Surfside HOA that needs to be heard.

The Goat Lady

My first experience with the Surfside HOA board’s lack of compassion was during a tree violation appeal.

I watched as an older woman, a kind grandmother, stood before the board to read her appeal about a tree on her property. She was interrupted, cut off mid-sentence by the president’s rudeness and told to stop. Later, she was fined $5,000 using a process she could not understand. This same woman finds joy in taking her grandkids to a local farm to pet goats and hug rabbits. I saw her love in the pictures she posts on her Facebook page with her grandchildren. She teaches her grandchildren to love animals and nature through their visits to the goat farm . She was a beacon of courage fighting against a board with little compassion as she presented her tree appeal. Her only “offense” was caring deeply for her trees— and her home. The board only cares about views and their property values. Her strength in speaking in front of this board is inspiring.  Her lesson was one of courage in standing up for her beliefs and other women in Surfside.

A Mother’s Unconditional  Love

One mother, who flew a pride flag in support of her daughter. Her family was verbally insulted during a family gathering during July 4th two years ago by an HOA employee who drove onto her property to express his disdain for flying the flag.  Because this isn’t just about identity — it’s about dignity. But she supports her daughter with love and compassion. An example of the American promise is that everyone deserves respect, regardless of their background or identity. But a lesson from the many mothers and grandmothers who show undying love for their daughters and sons. I’ve learned the meaning behind the rainbow flag, which represents the diverse makeup of our community and the importance of inclusion for everyone. And respect for all minorities, seniors, LGBTQ+, and religious groups who choose to live here. Despite the incident, there was no attempt by the board or the president to put out a message in support the LGBTQ+ members by condemning this behavior. Her lesson to me  is one of unconditional love for her daughter.

The Native American artist 

And then there’s the Native American grandmother, A quiet artist who captures the beauty of wildlife and nature through her paintings, expressing a deep connection to the world around her.  Who sees trees not as obstacles to views, but as sacred protectors of life. She taught me that trees are sacred. That they are part of who we are meant to live in harmony in nature. She shares the wisdom of generations of Native Americans with her young grand children.  But for voicing those beliefs, she was harassed by members of Surfside preservation. She and her husband, both dealing with serious health issues, were made to feel unwelcome in he very place they called home.  She left experiencing the stress she felt due to the harassment to protect her health. I recently chatted with her and saw the deep love she has for her grandson, who is living with brain tumors. She has two grandsons she proudly shows off in pictures online.  Having had a head tumor myself when I was younger, I understand the fear and uncertainty that comes with it. Her unwavering support and devotion to him are truly precious. Her lesson of respect and love for nature sent me on a journey to research and write about the benefits of trees and how they protect us. But, her lesson of support for her grandson resonated with me, reminding me of the support from my own mother when I dealt with life threatening  cancer. A lesson in the devoted love of grandmothers  and mother’s for their children and grand children  to foster healing through love and affection.

The writer 

As a writer for the Chicken Soup for the Soul books, who crafts stories of love and compassion, does so from a deeper, more personal place. Her piece, “Seeing Him Through God’s Eyes”—a tender tribute to a friend’s father—touches readers on a profoundly human level. Her writing is about family, compassion, and love. It’s no surprise her work draws heartfelt praise. As one reader shared, “her words brought tears to my eyes… She reminded me that my father still watches over me.” Another wrote, “Her story helped me through my grief—she doesn’t just write, she heals.” But she is a proud mother of a son who has raised an outstanding adult with drive and ambition. Their bond is apparent.
I’ve learned the power of writing to inspire stories of compassion to change lives. Her love of nature has led her to criticize the HOA tree height restrictions. Her punishment for tree violations was a $20,000 lawsuit she could not afford by a group and president that sought to threaten her home through foreclosure. Her voice reaches a much larger audience than Surfside. But she is an example of caring, driving senior friends in Surfside to their doctor appointments in Portland. This selfless act of compassion reflects her heartfelt love and sincere care for those in her community. Her words serve as a lesson to her readers, teaching them about love and compassion through her story about her friend’s father and her love for community. But read her lesson about the father of her friend here:

Seeing Him Through God’s Eyes

This story reflects writing from the heart and a gentle caring soul.

The Nurse 

My mother-in-law, who passed away last summer, showed me what love and care truly looks like. Her influence on my son was evident in the gratitude he expressed at her service, thanking her for always being there for him and providing him words of encouragement. She was a nurse who spent a lifetime saving lives, a wife who cared for a husband with Alzheimer’s, and a woman who never asked for thanks. I spent four weeks caring for her as cancer took its toll, making calls to doctors and ensuring medications were delivered and ensuring that all her last wishes were met, and contacting friends and family to come by and pay their respects and say goodbye. I did it because she was family, and deserves my respect for her devotion to family. I’ve learned a great deal from her life of service to those in greatest need. She dedicated herself to nursing and became a head nurse. She also was a nurse to her  church, caring for the poor, and later served as a state  ombudsman, working tirelessly to raise the standards of care in nursing homes. In a beautiful full-circle moment, the very nurses who cared for her during her final days were from one of the facilities she had once advocated for. Their words were filled with praise and gratitude — they spoke of how she had taught them the true meaning of caring for older people and made them a better nurse, with compassion, and dignity. For those most vulnerable in their final days, her presence was a blessing. Her impact wasn’t just remembered — it was profoundly felt in the hearts of those she cared for in hospitals. Her love embraced both family and the countless souls she comforted. But to me her lesson was about family. She was a saint and grateful she was part of my life.

The Devoted Military mom

I met her when I ran for the board. Her love for her community and the trees that surround her was apparent. A proud 83 year old grandmother  whose son served as a military officer in Korea and Italy during the Bosnia conflict, whose grandson served as a medic in Afghanistan, and whose granddaughter is an Army officer and registered nurse — her heart swells with pride for their dedication and service to our country. Her love became the foundation of her family’s healing, offering strength and comfort as they recovered from the deep impact of war.

At last year’s member meeting, the president declared that “forces are trying to take down the HOA,” as if some dark threat needed to be expelled to preserve its power.  But with all due respect, are these so-called forces anything more than a group of devoted mothers and grandmothers? These women, full of love, wisdom, and compassion, are not a threat; they are the heart of Surfside. They deserve to be honored and celebrated this Mother’s Day, not dismissed or told to leave the community they helped build.

To me, she is one of Surfside’s most cherished grandmothers — a shining example of love and care. She embodies the deep, unwavering devotion shared by so many families of those who serve our country in uniform. A lesson in the strength of those who support and pray for their loved ones serving in the military far from home.

Sadly, she was recently told by a Surfside HOA board member that if she didn’t like how the HOA Governed, to stop complaining and leave.  That a board member would treat an 83-year-old grandmother of a military family  with such disregard was disheartening. A statement by a man who clearly  feels threatened by someone challenging surfide policies when fighting for the trees and the environment. Clearly it doesn’t take much effort to  listen to what she has to say and give it the respect every grandmother, especially a patriarch of a  military family, deserves..

To every mother and grandmother in Surfside: you are the heart of this community. You have earned the right to be heard. Your stories, your care, your sacrifices for family  deserve not only our gratitude but our admiration. I have learned so much from the women in Surfside. I am thankful for your inspiration and love for the community. Having lost my mother in law, I will miss decades of Christmases, thanksgivings birthdays and family gatherings with her. And I especially miss her this mother’s Day. Be thankful for your mothers and grandmother’s before they are gone. They have given you a lifetime of love and deserve the recognition this mother’s day.

To the members of Surfside Preservation and the board aligned with them who believe leadership means silencing women who speak out against covenants.  Telling  a military grandmother who speaks up to leave. It’s an insult to all the grandmother’s and mothers who are part of the broader military family who have sons, daughters, grandsons and granddaughters serving in the military

Consider this: true leadership begins by listening. Listen to the lifetime of wisdom held by mothers and grandmothers, whose lives reflect the deepest values of love, compassion, and community. They are the quiet forces of good that guide us all. I’m grateful for their stories of love and care, and for the lessons they’ve passed on to me. Please take the time to honor their lifetime sacrifice in raising and caring for you and ensure she feels the love of all family members this mothers day.