One of the most vital responsibilities of any HOA board is how it chooses to speak to its residents. Every email, newsletter, and official post does more than just share information—it sets the emotional tone for our entire neighborhood. While social media allows for personal opinions, official board communications must hold themselves to a much higher standard of empathy, accuracy, and dignity. Board members should embrace feedback from members even when critical. We should love all our membership because they are all part of the community we call Surfside.

In my 35 years at Intel, I had the privilege of working alongside brilliant female executives, vice presidents, and general managers. They taught me that true leadership isn’t about winning an argument or dominating a room; it’s about listening, preparation, and bringing people together. They proved time and again that confidence is no substitute for competence, and that collaboration always outshines arrogance.

Members Are Partners, Not Opponents

An HOA exists to serve and protect its community, not to police or humiliate its residents. When a neighbor asks questions about budgets, financial reports, or board decisions, those questions should be welcomed as an opportunity for open dialogue—not treated as an attack.

This is especially critical when women in our community raise concerns. True leadership requires creating a space where everyone feels safe to speak up without fear of being dismissed, patronized, or publicly targeted.

What Inclusive Communication Looks Like:

• Focuses on the issue, never the individual.
• Uses respectful, factual language rather than defensive rhetoric.
• Seeks to understand and educate rather than escalate conflict.
• Treats every neighbor with equal dignity and fairness.

None of us is perfect. I certainly am not. There have been times when I’ve allowed my passion to override my professionalism, and when that happened, I owned it and apologized. True strength lies in accountability.

Where the Board Fell Short

The board’s recent email regarding financial reporting contained important information, but its execution missed the mark entirely. By labeling a female member’s concerns as “inflammatory” and using language that felt deeply critical, the board shifted the focus from community education to public shaming. Sending this letter to the entire membership was, in my view, a significant error in judgment.

A professional leadership team handles disagreements privately and explains policy publicly. Instead, this communication singled out a neighbor in a way that felt unnecessarily harsh and alienating.

Unfortunately, this isn’t an isolated incident. Over the past few years, our community has watched deeply concerning patterns unfold—including the overturning of a motion to remove a board member for the mistreatment of women, the firing of office staff, and aggressive fines or legal disputes that have disproportionately impacted older women and vulnerable families.  Taken together, these events have led many members to question whether our communication culture is serving the community as well as it should.

Moving Forward with Dignity

Every official letter sent by the board should build trust, not deepen division. Good leaders remain steady and respectful, even when residents are frustrated or express themselves imperfectly.
To the member whose post prompted this communication, and to the women in Surfside who felt alienated by its tone: you deserve better from your elected leadership. Every resident has the right to ask hard questions without feeling belittled or targeted. I strongly object to both the tone and the execution of the board’s letter.

A Call to Action for the Board

Moving forward, we need a commitment to a higher standard nu board members. I urge the board to:

• Issue a formal apology to the member involved and to the community.
• Implement a rigorous review process for all outgoing communications to ensure they remain respectful and neutral.
• Commit to constructive dialogue that prioritizes collaboration over conflict.
  Let’s restore a culture of courtesy, respect, and fairness to Surfside—one that makes every neighbor, especially our women, feel valued, heard, and safe.
• Encourage all member  feedback We should always welcome members taking the time to provide feedback even when we may not like it.

Surfside deserves leadership that communicates with professionalism, humility, and respect. We may not always agree on policy, but we should always agree on how neighbors deserve to be treated.